Spring is finally over for me. One more semester and I bid farewell, once again, to my school where I’ve spent my last year- bumming, stduying, working… and possibly every other imaginable thing that could be done in school, well, sort of; to my colleagues, who have made graduate school a valuable learning experience for me as they shared their culture, their knowledge, and their zeal for things; to my friends, who have ‘untiringly’ spent nights and days having dinner, making jokes, telling stories and doing many other fun things that makes life enjoyable; to my close friends, who have become my family in the past year, hanging out, lauging out loud to the silliest and stupidest things, pigging out, indulging in boba and pinkberry… you made being homesick hardly possible; and to my best friend,… I can’t even begin thinking how horrendously sad it’s going to be. I cannot imagine how crazy it’s going to be come 24th of July. I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again, I am not the biggest fan of goodbyes. I loathe it, I abhor it, I hate it.
But if there was one thing I came to realize thinking about this, it is that this is all part of a phase many of us go through in life. We meet people, we build relationships, we get used to them, we value them… and then in time, life shots us in the head. Things have to end. What we’ve spent so much of our time on all just seem to become a waste. Pointless, ruthless… plain f#$%ing beeyotch.
Last night, I decided to do a slideshow of selected photos we took in the past while music I deemed fit for the moment played in the background. Many of them I had to smile, remembering how crazy some of us had been at different times. It didn’t make me sad as much as it made me think, these people are family and that when things come to an end, it’s going to suck. Then one of the sad songs played… and I saw photos of me and close friends and my best buddy. That’s when it became sad. Happy times, crazy moments. It is partly what I hate about having to build very tight relationships with people. It gets hard to let go when the moment arrives.
As sad as it may be, I realized there’s no better way to deal with it than to just think of the good times and make the most of what’s left. Though there will no longer be more of it with the same people soon, life certainly always has something good, if not better to offer. It might be with a different set of people and friends, but the good ones and fun times you had before will always be there- remembered and cherished. True, these people you might never see again and it is possible that strong bond formed might slowly losen up and fade as time goes, that sucks but you gotta let it be. It’s up for you and the other person to keep in mind the good times. It’s gonna be tough at first- with all the goodbyes and crap, but in the end, it’s all good.
